Sexy scenes... a staple of romances, yes, but not the end all, be all definition of the romance genre, to my way of thinking.
I love the happily ever after (or the promise thereof) central to all romances. I love reading about a couple's romantic journey. I love every aspect of romance novels-- the conflicts, the emotions, the obstacles to overcome, the over-coming itself that are the essentials of romance (again, to my way of thinking). For me, an excellent romance relies not just on plot or characterization, but a mingling of both, with a generous dollop of emotion. I want to care about the characters I'm reading about. And writing about.
So what does this have to do with writing sexy scenes? I'll tell ya. GGG. Sex for the sake of sex does nothing for me. WHY are the characters making love? What emotions are involved? How does the act of lovemaking further the story itself? What are the why's behind it? Sure, there are the mechanics of sex, but quite honestly, I don't want to read about the male and female parts and what goes where, what's throbbing. And for the love of Pete, please don't use euphemisms for the male and female parts that give the impression that someone should really be on anti-biotics.
My personal struggle with writing sex(y) scenes stems not from the mechanics of sex, but the emotions and keeping each encounter I write about fresh, new, relevant to the characters involved. I don't want to write the "same old same old" when it comes to these scenes. I don't want to fall back on the tried and true. I don't want my readers to think, "Gee, I read this part already in another book." I want my readers to think, "Awwwwwww... they're in love."
That said, I will now go back to the sexy scenes I left in hanging in mid-air to come work out my thoughts here. Fresh and renewed, here I go.