We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a valiant little hairdryer. A hairdryer that went to it's maker in the middle of this morning's hair styling. Yea, tho I will walk into the world with hair that has been dried fluffy on one side, and flat on the other because it had to air dry, due to the untimely passing of my hairdryer, I cannot fault my hairdryer. Nay, it served my hair well for more than a decade-- bringing fluff and style to hair that would rather just lie there and look cruddy. We must remember the sacrifices the hairdryer made to insure I never had a bad hair day: living under a sink when not in use; being used as a hold-up weapon to keep children at bay; traveling around the good ol' US of A... It had a good life. A life spent in the service of others is a meaningful life.
Yea, while it might be possible to get a new hairdryer, it won't replace the dearly departed. So, it is with flat hair that I get out my curling iron this morning, to bring some sort of style to hair that, as I am, is mourning the loss of our hairdryer.
Rest in Peace, valiant hairdryer. You will be missed.
~Burial will occur later this morning. Graveside services to be conducted tomorrow, at the curb, with a garbage man officiating.