Musings of a Chocoholic Romance Author: Love Scenes, 101

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Love Scenes, 101

Writing Love Scenes 101

1. Pick a paperbag that will fit over your head comfortably.

2. Cut a couple of breathing holes out so you can, yanno, breathe.

3. Add moustache to decorate and procrastinate the commencement of writing Paperbag Scene.

4. Put on mood music, and change mind about mood music 10 times before going back to the first CD you put in to play.

5. Look at children and remember that your hero needs to use protection.

6. Decide your paperbag needs eye holes and cut those out.

7. Put paperbag back over head.

8. Scream at husband and children that you're REALLY gonna start writing now, and you'd appreciate it if they leave you alone. Lock door, just in case. If no lock, move heavy furniture in front of door to block it closed.

9. Have a panic attack because you blocked yourself into the room, and what if there's a fire? Check the window to make sure it opens. Find heavy object to throw through window to break glass because window doesn't open. Put heavy object on desk and promptly forget why it's there.

10. Make a sticky note lists: "Use senses. What are the senses? There's the 6th, um..... hearing, uhhhhhhhhhhh, seeing, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, touching. Oh yes, touching is good." And "Emotion. How can characters connect emotionally while boinking, aren't they too busy boinking to be emotional?"

11. Scream at husband, who is pounding away on the door that no, that a poopy diaper isn't going to kill him, but you are if he doesn't stop pounding and leave you alone.

12. Turn music up because now kids are pounding the door, along with the husband who thinks the poopy smell will kill him soon, and the air quality control folks will be there any minute to cart you all to jail for polluting the air.

13. Read WIP to remember what you were gonna write about, then review sticky notes. Have an "Ah-ha!" Moment.

14. Put hands on keyboard and notice the heavy object you have on your desk and stare it, wondering why it's there on the desk.

15. Sing along with your mood music, to drown out the sound of family pounding on door.

16. Commence writing Paperbag Scene.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Quotes About Writing

For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word. ~Catherine Drinker Bowen

Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing. ~Melinda Haynes

My purpose is to entertain myself first and other people secondly. ~John D. MacDonald

Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else. ~Gloria Steinem

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. ~Thomas Mann

Easy reading is damned hard writing. ~Anonymous

We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. ~Somerset Maugham

Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. ~E. L. Doctorow

The secret of becoming a writer is to write, write and keep on writing. ~Ken MacLeod\

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. ~Robert A. Heinlein

Never throw up on an editor. ~Ellen Datlow

If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time or the tools to write. ~Stephen King

There are no rules in writing. There are useful principles. Throw them away when they're not useful. But always know what you're throwing away. ~Will Shetterly

Books are never finished, They are merely abandoned. ~Oscar Wilde

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. ~Jack London

If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter. ~Anonymous

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master. ~Ernest Hemingway

You never learn how to write a novel. You just learn how to write the novel that you're writing. ~Gene Wolfe