Wednesday, July 02, 2008

My Future Recording Career...

I'm thinking of abandoning my writing career for a career in the recording industry. My first album will be "Mommy's Gratest Hits" and will feature the following exciting songs:

"CUT IT OUT! ... NOW!"

"I Don't Care If I Didn't Get Your Name Right, You Knew I Was Speaking To You."

"Go Clean Your Rooms."

"That's It! Separate Rooms."

"Don't Make Me Turn This Car Around."

"Just Wait Until Your Father Gets Home."

"Turn the TV Down!"


"What Part of "No" Didn't You Understand?"

"Please Put Your Laundry Away."

"I Don't Care What Joey's Mother Let's Him Do, He's Not My Child--You Are."

"Sure, You Can Go Play On The Freeway!"

"Put Your Ding-Danged Retainer In Your Mouth!"

"Stop It!"

"Time For Bed."

"Somebody Needs To Go Shower."

"Don't Just Wave The Toothbrush Around Your Teeth."

"It's Nowhere Near Hot Outside Today--Go Play Outside."

"(I Know You Don't Really Want To Run Errands With Me) You Think I Really Want To Take You All To Walmart With Me?"

"My Name's Not 'Mommy'---I Changed It."

"No More Junk Food, It's Almost Dinner Time."

"I Don't Know (What's For Dinner, What Makes The Wind Blow, What We're Doing In An Hour From Now, What Day It Is, If the P's Can Come Over To Play...)"

"I Heard You The First Time."

"Wwwwwwwoooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Twwwwoooooooooooooooooooo, THREE!"

"Hi, Honey, Glad You're Home, Tag, You're It!"

"Where Oh Where Did All The Rum Go? (Oh, Where, Oh Where Can It Be?---Oh. Yeah. I Drank It For Breakfast.)"

"No, We Aren't There Yet."

"What Was I Thinking? (I Didn't Know Babies Grew Up)"

And last, but certainly least,

"Quit (Looking At Your Brother Funny, Breathing Each Other's Air, Asking What Time It Is, Asking What's For Dinner, Making That Noise, Hitting Each Other)"

1 comment:

Laura Hamby said...

On My Gratest Hits 2 Album (Yes, I misspelled that on purpose):

Mommy Who?"

"Take This Job And Shove It."

"There's Only 41 Days Left Until School Starts Again."

"No, You Can't Have Fruity Pebbles For Dinner."

"I'm Not A Short Order Cook. (What Do You This This Is?--A Restaurant?")

"Talk To The Hand."

"Doing Chores Isn't Child Abuse."

"Well, That's The Way We Do It In This Family."

"Can't You See I'm ON THE PHONE?"

"Because I Said So."