Thursday, September 17, 2009

Spamail...and Other Observations on a Thursday

Dear Spammers,

Thank you very much for the multitudinous and generous offers of penis enhancement (I don't have the proper equipment), the opportunity to enter your scam lottery in a foreign country, earn $250 from home in your bogus work from home offers, more offers for dating services than I can count---from meeting Christian Singles in my area to meeting Biker Babes (sorry, I'm not into babes, I prefer hunks, but thank you ever so much for thinking of me, you're very sweet).

I especially enjoy the spam that comes, somehow, from my very own addresses. That makes it really nifty and scares me just a little bit that somehow you accessed my one of my accounts. I think at the very least, if you're going to use my own email addy, you should make an attempt to NOT send it back to the same address. Yanno? Making any sense here?

Wishing you the best in your endeavors,

Please Stop Spamming Me



Observation: It is unfair for the Aunt to make her monthly visit EARLY. Inconsiderate *mumble-dee-mubble*.

Observation: It is disconcerting to have to call your husband at work to ask HIM if the Aunt has arrived early, because, yanno, despite the fact she makes regular monthly appearances, she always surprises me.

Observation: Do you know how hard it is to decide what's for dinner before you've even had breakfast? Heck. I don't even know what I want for breakfast yet.

Observation: The 3 Musketeers bar next to the monitor seems to be an appropriate choice for breakfast this morning. (See the above observations about a certain unwelcome rellie.)

Observation: Your kids grow up faster than you think. So while you're not in love with poopy diapers or screamy fits, you really should cherish these moments, because *SNAP!*---They are GONE!

Observation: Puff the Magic Dragon has another reason besides little Jackie Paper not coming to play with him any more: Mary Travers, of Peter, Paul and Mary fame, passed away.

Observation: Once you think about the song Puff the Magic Dragon, it's stuck in your head for a good long time.

Observation: This is a tough week for celebrities. Patrick Swayze succumbed to the pancreatic cancer he'd been fighting the good fight over for almost 2 years earlier this week.

Observation: She's Like the Wind is another song that once you think about it, it's stuck in your head for a good long time. As is I've Had the Time of My Life.

Observation: Fall is in the air here in LauraLand, especially in the evenings. Ahhhh...Fall.

Observation: The movie All About Steve with Sandra Bullock will make you crazy if you try to analyze it, so don't. Analyze it, that is. I still haven't decided if the role should've been played by a younger actress or not. I love Sandra Bullock, though. And those boots she wears in the movie? Best line from the whole movie, re: the red boots: "I wear these boots because they make my toes feel like 10 little friends on a camp out."

Observation: There's enough salt on a small bag of movie popcorn to turn an acre-sized fresh water lake into a mini Salt Lake.

Observation: Why don't the dishes do themselves? Like the laundry, aren't they continually trained?

Observation: Garbage trucks are very noisy. Especially if you've left your front windows open. Oops.

Observation: If you sit at the top of the stairs, and your dog is at the bottom of the stairs, blocked by a toddler gate, your dog will whimper and growl at you, and finally bark at you to encourage you to come down the stairs, where you belong.

Observation: Your internet connection will boot you at the most inconvenient of times.

Observation: It's a great day to be alive. Take a deep breath (but not when you're standing next to say, a bus or a diesel truck or an idling car or the sewer treatment plant...), admire the bright blue of the sky, listen to the sound of the birds chirping...and be happy. It's Thursday! The weekend is almost here. (It's even closer to being here if you live in Australia. Or even Europe...)



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