Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Wouldn't it be more efficient if the house stayed clean after you cleaned it?

How come, despite years and years of demonstration and training, the laundry and dishes don't do themselves?

I paid the bills last month. Why don't they STAY paid?

Why is it that within 6 hours of mopping the floor, someone will spill something nasty and sticky on the clean floor? Makes me think that nature abhors a vacuum and this maxim is somehow applied to clean kitchen floors.

Why aren't tubs and showers self-cleaning? I mean, we use soap in there, so why do they get dirty?

Clean is a magnet for mess. No matter what, I clean the house, and within 24 hours, you can't tell that things were once put away.

Children have a built-in chocolate meter. My boys know when I have chocolate on my desk and they all come by and demand I share. Sharing chocolate is for the birds. It's mine. All mine.

Wouldn't it be more efficient if your refrigerator could restock itself? Just need a little computer in the door and the fridge can monitor when you're low on milk, oj and lunchmeat, email the grocery store and have new supplies beamed in. Oh. Wait. I'd have to relocate to the USS Enterprise (D)... Hmmm... Might hafta rethink my whole landlubber stance.

Why do the clerks at the grocery story only ask you if you want help out to the car when you've brought your helpers along with, but not when you're there without your built-in helpers?

The vacuum cleaner should also by this time, know how to run itself.

On the days you feel like snatching yourself bald-headed, just remember this: if you do snatch yourself bald-headed, there's a possibility that a really bad toupee is in your future.

Happy Wednesday.

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