Various observations on life...
Stomach flu sucks. Especially when, four days after the barfing stops, you're still not 100%.
Hello? Walmart...Kmart? People might like to read the Stephanie Plum novels 4-11, rather than skipping from 3 to 12. Just saying is all. Oh, and the movie, One for the Money (the series by Janet Evanovich) was absolutely adorable and I'll need to own it when it comes out on DVD.
It is not possible to drive, eat frozen yogurt and Party Like It's 1999 with Prince all at the same time. Not that I've tried. *Adjusts halo and smiles, uh, angelically.
Words with Friends is a fun game. It's a wonder my sister is still playing with me, tho, because (cough)...I've won all but 1 of our games. Still, it's great fun and I'm really enjoying being able to play a game with her, since she lives a couple states away from me. (Dumb sister for moving that far away.)
Dogs do too talk.
Phil Collins transcends generations.
WIPS don't tend to write themselves, even when you're sick. Inconsiderate things.
Naps are sublime.
Showing posts with label Observations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Observations. Show all posts
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
2-1-12
Nifty date. Hopefully, it'll be a nifty day, too...
Observations...something writers tend to do - observe the world around them for sparks of ideas, characters (based on how people act), anything that can be worked into a story.
And then there are the observations we make about the world that are simply observations. For example...
The music piped overhead in stores is what was popular when I was a teenager. These same songs are now considered "Oldies" or "Classics." It's wrong to hear The Eurythmics on the "All Oldies, All the Time" station.
The price of groceries has increased...paychecks haven't.
Midnight and 6 a.m. are, in actuality, only 3 hours apart when it comes to sleep.
Adulthood is highly overrated. My recommendation to all teenagers out there is "DON'T DO IT! Don't grow up."
Naps are underrated.
Life is interesting...in all its various forms, as are people. Pay attention. It's short and fleeting.
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@
Observations...something writers tend to do - observe the world around them for sparks of ideas, characters (based on how people act), anything that can be worked into a story.
And then there are the observations we make about the world that are simply observations. For example...
The music piped overhead in stores is what was popular when I was a teenager. These same songs are now considered "Oldies" or "Classics." It's wrong to hear The Eurythmics on the "All Oldies, All the Time" station.
The price of groceries has increased...paychecks haven't.
Midnight and 6 a.m. are, in actuality, only 3 hours apart when it comes to sleep.
Adulthood is highly overrated. My recommendation to all teenagers out there is "DON'T DO IT! Don't grow up."
Naps are underrated.
Life is interesting...in all its various forms, as are people. Pay attention. It's short and fleeting.
All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.
~Graham Chapman~
Thursday, October 27, 2011
10 Observations
1. Caramel flavored mini rice cakes are nummylicious and addicting.
2. Never look at a sunbeam streaming in through a window. You'll see an invasion force of pre-dustbunnies.
3. The look of clutter in your house can be deceiving. While it may look bad, it's an optical illusion - it's WORSE than it appears, and you won't know this until you start clearing it.
4. Small dogs will think they are a large and large dogs will think they are small enough to be lap dogs.
5. Your elderly dishwasher will start misbehaving at the most economically inconvenient time of year - around the holidays.
6. The power surge mother of all hot flashes will hit only when it's inappropriate/inconvenient for you to shuck your excess clothing.
7. The only time the phone will ring all day long is during the last 5 minutes of a new NCIS episode.
8. No matter how hard you try, if you've had a long and difficult week, you will fall asleep 15 minutes into the new Blue Bloods episode. (Which is why, and this applies to #7, too, DVR was invented.)
9. There is, apparently, a difference between car batteries made for cars that reside in the north and for cars that reside in the south. Has to do with how cold it gets during the winter. Learn something new everyday.
10. No matter how diligently you train your laundry, it still will never learn how to do itself.
%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%
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2. Never look at a sunbeam streaming in through a window. You'll see an invasion force of pre-dustbunnies.
3. The look of clutter in your house can be deceiving. While it may look bad, it's an optical illusion - it's WORSE than it appears, and you won't know this until you start clearing it.
4. Small dogs will think they are a large and large dogs will think they are small enough to be lap dogs.
5. Your elderly dishwasher will start misbehaving at the most economically inconvenient time of year - around the holidays.
6. The power surge mother of all hot flashes will hit only when it's inappropriate/inconvenient for you to shuck your excess clothing.
7. The only time the phone will ring all day long is during the last 5 minutes of a new NCIS episode.
8. No matter how hard you try, if you've had a long and difficult week, you will fall asleep 15 minutes into the new Blue Bloods episode. (Which is why, and this applies to #7, too, DVR was invented.)
9. There is, apparently, a difference between car batteries made for cars that reside in the north and for cars that reside in the south. Has to do with how cold it gets during the winter. Learn something new everyday.
10. No matter how diligently you train your laundry, it still will never learn how to do itself.
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
I give thanks everyday that I've been able to take my craziness and make it work for me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Observations...
...It's terrific Carrie Fisher lost 50 pounds, but I want to know why she's botoxed or plastic surgeried her face to the point she can barely move her mouth to talk.
The Kim Cattrall I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercial annoys me. "We like." "Oui." Um, no. We don't like. By "we," I really mean "me."
I've been pondering for a long time now WHY the Kardashians are famous. Now the "news" is making a big deal out of whichever one got married recently had been married before and that it's news to her new husband. Who. The. Hayle. CARES? And why am I commenting on it? ARG.
Okay...I'm sorry. Michele Bachmann? You aren't nearly as funny as you think you are. WHY would you jest about the earthquake and Hurricane Irene as being God sending a wake up call to the politicians in Washington DC? Not funny in my book. This muddying the separation of church and state line trend alarms me. Religion is fine. In our homes, in our churchs, but not in our government. I certainly don't vote for my representatives so they can turn around and use their office as a stage for their revival efforts.
Chocolate banana smoothies are nummylicious.
Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, greenbeans... they're calling me. Guess what's for dinner? Guess who has to go to the store to pick up a big chub of ground beef, some taters, some gravy mix and greenbeans?
Started writing a Christmas short story. Have started my Christmas crafts for presents, too. Fun, fun, fun.
Neighbor who moved gave us their trampoline. Boys love it, and the Coolest Backyard in the Neighborhood got even cooler. It's a kid magnet. Now that the kids are in school, I'm tempted, once it's not so darned hot outside, to go jump on it myself.
Something is beeping intermittenly. Must track it down. BEEP BEEP BEEP like every few minutes. Maybe it's my new cell phone begging to be plugged in. I have no idea. Very strange. Not like a smoke detector spazzing because the battery's dying. Whatever, it's reminded me I need to plug in my cell phone to charge it. Now if I can just hold onto that thought until I finish and post this blog...
Tuesday is early dismissal day for my elementary and middle school sons. Every Tuesday, with few exceptions. JOY. I don't love Tuesdays.
The palm trees along the fenceline are beautiful when the wind ruffles the fronds. Great view from here on the sofa.
Dust. It's everywhere. Dust is not my friend. I spend too much of my time chasing the dust, so it doesn't colonize and create dust bunny communities.
Two knuckleheaded dogs live here with me, and when I get up off the couch, they go curl up in the warm spot I left...then look at me sooooo reproachfully when I come back to reclaim my spot. Good thing these knuckleheads are cute or they'd be outta here. Seat thieves, they stink, shed, and one gets car sick, which is soooo fun, because both think they need to go buh bye car when I take the boys to school in the morning. Knuckle. Headed. Dogs. Oh, and they think when we get home, that they should get good girl treats for having helped me take the boys to school. Mebbe not so knuckleheaded, as I do give them the treats. LOL. Naw. They're knuckleheads.
I have a cinnamon swirl cake to bake. I got a couple cake mixes to just have on hand for those occasions I need something handy to make in a hurry. However, the cake is calling my name, and I might give in to the siren call of the cake mix.
I think maybe this afternoon we'll go do some school supply shopping. Fun stuff like graph paper for geometry and algebra. Glue sticks.
Such is the minutae in my life today. Ah, the romance of being a writer of romance...Where's my tiara? My boa? Oh, and don't forget the bon bons. I must have bon bons.
* * * * * * * * * *
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Pablo Picasso
Imperfection is not our personal problem, it is a natural part of existing. ~Tara Brach
The Kim Cattrall I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercial annoys me. "We like." "Oui." Um, no. We don't like. By "we," I really mean "me."
I've been pondering for a long time now WHY the Kardashians are famous. Now the "news" is making a big deal out of whichever one got married recently had been married before and that it's news to her new husband. Who. The. Hayle. CARES? And why am I commenting on it? ARG.
Okay...I'm sorry. Michele Bachmann? You aren't nearly as funny as you think you are. WHY would you jest about the earthquake and Hurricane Irene as being God sending a wake up call to the politicians in Washington DC? Not funny in my book. This muddying the separation of church and state line trend alarms me. Religion is fine. In our homes, in our churchs, but not in our government. I certainly don't vote for my representatives so they can turn around and use their office as a stage for their revival efforts.
Chocolate banana smoothies are nummylicious.
Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, greenbeans... they're calling me. Guess what's for dinner? Guess who has to go to the store to pick up a big chub of ground beef, some taters, some gravy mix and greenbeans?
Started writing a Christmas short story. Have started my Christmas crafts for presents, too. Fun, fun, fun.
Neighbor who moved gave us their trampoline. Boys love it, and the Coolest Backyard in the Neighborhood got even cooler. It's a kid magnet. Now that the kids are in school, I'm tempted, once it's not so darned hot outside, to go jump on it myself.
Something is beeping intermittenly. Must track it down. BEEP BEEP BEEP like every few minutes. Maybe it's my new cell phone begging to be plugged in. I have no idea. Very strange. Not like a smoke detector spazzing because the battery's dying. Whatever, it's reminded me I need to plug in my cell phone to charge it. Now if I can just hold onto that thought until I finish and post this blog...
Tuesday is early dismissal day for my elementary and middle school sons. Every Tuesday, with few exceptions. JOY. I don't love Tuesdays.
The palm trees along the fenceline are beautiful when the wind ruffles the fronds. Great view from here on the sofa.
Dust. It's everywhere. Dust is not my friend. I spend too much of my time chasing the dust, so it doesn't colonize and create dust bunny communities.
Two knuckleheaded dogs live here with me, and when I get up off the couch, they go curl up in the warm spot I left...then look at me sooooo reproachfully when I come back to reclaim my spot. Good thing these knuckleheads are cute or they'd be outta here. Seat thieves, they stink, shed, and one gets car sick, which is soooo fun, because both think they need to go buh bye car when I take the boys to school in the morning. Knuckle. Headed. Dogs. Oh, and they think when we get home, that they should get good girl treats for having helped me take the boys to school. Mebbe not so knuckleheaded, as I do give them the treats. LOL. Naw. They're knuckleheads.
I have a cinnamon swirl cake to bake. I got a couple cake mixes to just have on hand for those occasions I need something handy to make in a hurry. However, the cake is calling my name, and I might give in to the siren call of the cake mix.
I think maybe this afternoon we'll go do some school supply shopping. Fun stuff like graph paper for geometry and algebra. Glue sticks.
Such is the minutae in my life today. Ah, the romance of being a writer of romance...Where's my tiara? My boa? Oh, and don't forget the bon bons. I must have bon bons.
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Pablo Picasso
Imperfection is not our personal problem, it is a natural part of existing. ~Tara Brach
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Observations From a Whirlwind Vacation
Happily, a high school reunion, mine, coincided with a week we actually had free. So, I packed up my children, waved goodbye to the spouse and the dog (the spouse couldn't come because he'd just had 2 weeks off back to back to go to scout summer camp with Our Three Sons, the dog couldn't come because my mother has a neurotic Chiweiner who, for some inexplicable reason, thinks I like her. I don't. I don't like dogs. Except for mine. And Sherry's, because Teddy is just too damned cute for words. But I digress. Surprised?)
I learned many interesting things along the way. On the drive to the old hometown, I discovered that my oldest son did not believe me, when after 2 nice warnings, that I would embarrass him publicly if his behavior did not improve. His behavior did not improve and the Carl's Jr. we stopped at for lunch got a free lunch show. Strangely, after that, and a conversation on the cell phone with his father, the boy's behavior improved immensely. Like magic.
Playing Bon Jovi's *Slippery When Wet* CD in the car is a great way to stay awake. However, the speed of the vehicle increases proportionally to the beat of the music. Oh, and do you have any idea how hard it is to drive when you're rocking out and screeching along with such hits as *You Give Love a Bad Name*? It's hard. Really. And it can make you dizzy. I recommend avoiding rocking out when driving.
It's uphill all the way home. No blizzards, however, and I was not barefoot.
The threatening rainstorm will ONLY pour down AFTER a big, sticky, icky bug has committed bugicide on your windshield.
Slowpokes speed up through the passing lanes, so you can't pass them. There's a special word for these types of drivers, but since this is a family blog (my mother may read it), I can't use that word here. But it begins with an "A" and ends with a "hole." I'm sure you're more than capable of figuring it out. Also, you will find the only conscientious driver observing the posted speed limit at the base of a steep pass, who will in one short second, kill the speed and momentum you've attained because there's no passing lane, and it's a two way road. Nice, huh?
Even putting 50 SPF sunscreen on your back won't stop you from getting burned when you go to the Lake with friends. Just call me Laura Lobster.
It's fun(ny) to be called "Auntie Robot" by one of your sister's two kids. It's not so funny when it's "Auntie EVIL Robot" and now your other sister's son, usually a huggy guy, takes it up. Auntie Robot is fine. Not so in love with "Auntie EVIL Robot" from a twerp who isn't even in double digits yet. Still love the twerp, though.
My cousin's little boy (3), is a full-throttle tyke. After he licked, sucked at and discarded several quartered pieces of oranges, his Grandma, my Aunt, told him, "No more. Put it back." He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes (eyes just like his Mom's), put the orange up to this mouth and licked it. Hehe. I thought it was funny. Auntie Grandma wasn't as amused.
It's funny to hear the same little guy call your other cousin, *his* Auntie, "ET". As in "ET phone home." Funnier still? Watching/hearing your cousin respond.
It is downhill most of the way home. Again, no blizzards or bare feet. Just a sick child (summer cold, sore throat).
An alarming light will come on on your dashboard ONLY when you're in the middle of nowhere, driving by yourself (no back up), with 3 kids. Further, the light will be of an ambiguous variety known only as "Malfunction Indicator Light." After you stand on a windy hill where you barely have cell phone service talking with your Dad (because your spouse is Busier Than a One Legged Man at a Butt Kicking Contest at Work and therefore didn't answer when you called in your moment of crisis), you decide: 1. It's safe to turn the vehicle off and back on again to see if the light goes away AND 2. It's better to keep going forward, rather than turning around and going BACK, especially when you're closer to home than you are to the old hometown. The owner's manual said that unless the indicator was flashing (a sure sign of imminent mayhem and chaos), it was probably okay to continue driving. It's difficult to drive when you're staring at a little lit up icon on your dashboard. However, if the light doesn't go away, then we have to take the van in because there's something loose, we got a bad tank of gas, someone going the other way looked at my van cross-eyed...Yeah, okay that last bit may have been over the top, but you get the drift. It's the universal, "Something's wrong with your car, but we don't know what" light.
When you do finally make it home, hot, sweaty and bleary, it will be to find that the spouse didn't go to that nifty store known as the Grocery Store, and there's nothing to eat in the house. Well, nothing that anyone wants to eat. Take out Chinese is always good, from the corner restaurant with the crazy lady who's only seen you twice and always tells you "It's been such a long time since I saw you" and talks to your spouse like she's seen him before (when she really hasn't).
Observations About High School Reunions
Someone will find you and know who you are. You will stare at this person in confounded befuddlement until they introduce themselves. Then you'll recognize him/her and wonder why you didn't before.
It's fun to dance on a blocked off street in the middle of the night. Especially if you've been soaked with rum beforehand. *Whistling innocently*. However, your hips and legs will be in a state of rebellion the following morning, because they aren't 16 years old, which is the age you felt while you were bopping about with other drunks...er...classmates...to such tunes as The Safety Dance and YMCA. Just sayin'.
One of your kids, when you find The Safety Dance on YouTube, will pronounce it "weird."
Cliques. Hmmm...Yanno, they just didn't seem as evident at this reunion. This may be attributed to a couple of things: not many people attended and there we had no choice but to talk to one another OR we're finally growing up and out of it. You decide.
At the family picnic, the child who belches loudly and without restraint, will belong to...ME. Son #3 has a history of silencing restaurants with his expulsions of gas, now we can add "Mom's High School Reunion" to the list. Everyone BUT the mother will think it's funny. I'm still not that amused. Well. Okay. Maybe just a wee bit, but that's all I'll admit to, and that's my final answer, Regis.
Same child asked me later, when we were driving around the old hometown looking at such wonders as Homes Mom Grew Up In and Schools Mom Attended (Ooooh, look! Those windows are where Mom went to kindergarten!", "Mom, what happened to all your friends?" After a moment, I said the only thing I could: "We grew up." I refrained from telling him it would happen to him too. No need to depress him.
I learned many interesting things along the way. On the drive to the old hometown, I discovered that my oldest son did not believe me, when after 2 nice warnings, that I would embarrass him publicly if his behavior did not improve. His behavior did not improve and the Carl's Jr. we stopped at for lunch got a free lunch show. Strangely, after that, and a conversation on the cell phone with his father, the boy's behavior improved immensely. Like magic.
Playing Bon Jovi's *Slippery When Wet* CD in the car is a great way to stay awake. However, the speed of the vehicle increases proportionally to the beat of the music. Oh, and do you have any idea how hard it is to drive when you're rocking out and screeching along with such hits as *You Give Love a Bad Name*? It's hard. Really. And it can make you dizzy. I recommend avoiding rocking out when driving.
It's uphill all the way home. No blizzards, however, and I was not barefoot.
The threatening rainstorm will ONLY pour down AFTER a big, sticky, icky bug has committed bugicide on your windshield.
Slowpokes speed up through the passing lanes, so you can't pass them. There's a special word for these types of drivers, but since this is a family blog (my mother may read it), I can't use that word here. But it begins with an "A" and ends with a "hole." I'm sure you're more than capable of figuring it out. Also, you will find the only conscientious driver observing the posted speed limit at the base of a steep pass, who will in one short second, kill the speed and momentum you've attained because there's no passing lane, and it's a two way road. Nice, huh?
Even putting 50 SPF sunscreen on your back won't stop you from getting burned when you go to the Lake with friends. Just call me Laura Lobster.
It's fun(ny) to be called "Auntie Robot" by one of your sister's two kids. It's not so funny when it's "Auntie EVIL Robot" and now your other sister's son, usually a huggy guy, takes it up. Auntie Robot is fine. Not so in love with "Auntie EVIL Robot" from a twerp who isn't even in double digits yet. Still love the twerp, though.
My cousin's little boy (3), is a full-throttle tyke. After he licked, sucked at and discarded several quartered pieces of oranges, his Grandma, my Aunt, told him, "No more. Put it back." He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes (eyes just like his Mom's), put the orange up to this mouth and licked it. Hehe. I thought it was funny. Auntie Grandma wasn't as amused.
It's funny to hear the same little guy call your other cousin, *his* Auntie, "ET". As in "ET phone home." Funnier still? Watching/hearing your cousin respond.
It is downhill most of the way home. Again, no blizzards or bare feet. Just a sick child (summer cold, sore throat).
An alarming light will come on on your dashboard ONLY when you're in the middle of nowhere, driving by yourself (no back up), with 3 kids. Further, the light will be of an ambiguous variety known only as "Malfunction Indicator Light." After you stand on a windy hill where you barely have cell phone service talking with your Dad (because your spouse is Busier Than a One Legged Man at a Butt Kicking Contest at Work and therefore didn't answer when you called in your moment of crisis), you decide: 1. It's safe to turn the vehicle off and back on again to see if the light goes away AND 2. It's better to keep going forward, rather than turning around and going BACK, especially when you're closer to home than you are to the old hometown. The owner's manual said that unless the indicator was flashing (a sure sign of imminent mayhem and chaos), it was probably okay to continue driving. It's difficult to drive when you're staring at a little lit up icon on your dashboard. However, if the light doesn't go away, then we have to take the van in because there's something loose, we got a bad tank of gas, someone going the other way looked at my van cross-eyed...Yeah, okay that last bit may have been over the top, but you get the drift. It's the universal, "Something's wrong with your car, but we don't know what" light.
When you do finally make it home, hot, sweaty and bleary, it will be to find that the spouse didn't go to that nifty store known as the Grocery Store, and there's nothing to eat in the house. Well, nothing that anyone wants to eat. Take out Chinese is always good, from the corner restaurant with the crazy lady who's only seen you twice and always tells you "It's been such a long time since I saw you" and talks to your spouse like she's seen him before (when she really hasn't).
Someone will find you and know who you are. You will stare at this person in confounded befuddlement until they introduce themselves. Then you'll recognize him/her and wonder why you didn't before.
It's fun to dance on a blocked off street in the middle of the night. Especially if you've been soaked with rum beforehand. *Whistling innocently*. However, your hips and legs will be in a state of rebellion the following morning, because they aren't 16 years old, which is the age you felt while you were bopping about with other drunks...er...classmates...to such tunes as The Safety Dance and YMCA. Just sayin'.
One of your kids, when you find The Safety Dance on YouTube, will pronounce it "weird."
Cliques. Hmmm...Yanno, they just didn't seem as evident at this reunion. This may be attributed to a couple of things: not many people attended and there we had no choice but to talk to one another OR we're finally growing up and out of it. You decide.
At the family picnic, the child who belches loudly and without restraint, will belong to...ME. Son #3 has a history of silencing restaurants with his expulsions of gas, now we can add "Mom's High School Reunion" to the list. Everyone BUT the mother will think it's funny. I'm still not that amused. Well. Okay. Maybe just a wee bit, but that's all I'll admit to, and that's my final answer, Regis.
Same child asked me later, when we were driving around the old hometown looking at such wonders as Homes Mom Grew Up In and Schools Mom Attended (Ooooh, look! Those windows are where Mom went to kindergarten!", "Mom, what happened to all your friends?" After a moment, I said the only thing I could: "We grew up." I refrained from telling him it would happen to him too. No need to depress him.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Observing the World
1. Laundry is highly over-rated. Really. As the mother of sons, I can tell you, they're happiest when I'm not reminding them to change their undies on a daily basis.
2. If the dishes must be done, it's much more fun if you watch a KID do them. Really. Very entertaining.
3. There is only one time and one time only that is the best time for your husband to sprain his ankle. And that time is the weekend before your long-planned and awaited Chickation.
4. Growing new toenails is painful. Especially when they grow right into your toe. Just sayin' is all. Recommend you avoid this if at all possible.
5. You know you're working on a good WIP when you can jump right back into it after having sadly neglected it for a few weeks. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
6. There are no adjectives, adverbs or any other parts of speech which can adequately describe how I feel about driving on freeways. Really. There aren't any, I've looked for 'em. Non-existent.
7. It only becomes important that you've worn the letters right off the keyboard when someone who can't touch type needs to use it. (Which would be just about everyone in my family.) *I* know where the letters, are, so what's the problem?
8. Why do teachers insist on assigning homework during the last 2 weeks of school? Do they REALLY think the kids are going to do it, or that the parents are motivated to make the kids do their homework at this late date? Seriously, people. WTHeckadoodle?
9. Suitcases don't unpack themselves. Neither do carry-on bags.
10. NCIS is more addictive than pistachios. Abby said so, and she wouldn't lie, would she?
11. It's not really laughing unless you're snorting and peeing your pants.
12. Mark Twain's wit and wisdom is timeless. To (hehe) wit:
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow."
"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
"Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
"To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble."
"We are all alike, on the inside."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
13. The street in front of your house will be empty of moving vehicles only until you try to back out of your driveway.
14. Every grown woman should have a BFF.
15. It's not ever possible to have too much chocolate. And nuts? They just take up space where more chocolate should be in that chocolate candy bar.
16. Children are always a joy and a blessing, especially when they are busy being a frustration.
17. Your Mommy never ever stops being your Mommy. Ever.
18. Live, laugh, love. Laugh, love, live. Love, live, laugh. The order doesn't matter.
19. Rejoice in your silver hair---you earned every strand.
20. If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning.
2. If the dishes must be done, it's much more fun if you watch a KID do them. Really. Very entertaining.
3. There is only one time and one time only that is the best time for your husband to sprain his ankle. And that time is the weekend before your long-planned and awaited Chickation.
4. Growing new toenails is painful. Especially when they grow right into your toe. Just sayin' is all. Recommend you avoid this if at all possible.
5. You know you're working on a good WIP when you can jump right back into it after having sadly neglected it for a few weeks. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
6. There are no adjectives, adverbs or any other parts of speech which can adequately describe how I feel about driving on freeways. Really. There aren't any, I've looked for 'em. Non-existent.
7. It only becomes important that you've worn the letters right off the keyboard when someone who can't touch type needs to use it. (Which would be just about everyone in my family.) *I* know where the letters, are, so what's the problem?
8. Why do teachers insist on assigning homework during the last 2 weeks of school? Do they REALLY think the kids are going to do it, or that the parents are motivated to make the kids do their homework at this late date? Seriously, people. WTHeckadoodle?
9. Suitcases don't unpack themselves. Neither do carry-on bags.
10. NCIS is more addictive than pistachios. Abby said so, and she wouldn't lie, would she?
11. It's not really laughing unless you're snorting and peeing your pants.
12. Mark Twain's wit and wisdom is timeless. To (hehe) wit:
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow."
"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
"Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."
"To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble."
"We are all alike, on the inside."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
13. The street in front of your house will be empty of moving vehicles only until you try to back out of your driveway.
14. Every grown woman should have a BFF.
15. It's not ever possible to have too much chocolate. And nuts? They just take up space where more chocolate should be in that chocolate candy bar.
16. Children are always a joy and a blessing, especially when they are busy being a frustration.
17. Your Mommy never ever stops being your Mommy. Ever.
18. Live, laugh, love. Laugh, love, live. Love, live, laugh. The order doesn't matter.
19. Rejoice in your silver hair---you earned every strand.
20. If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning.
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